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You Know you Watch too much Wrestling When... 1.) Your whole Wardrobe is Austin 3:16 shirts.
2.) You went and bought a computer and a connection to the internet just to get wrestling news and say your not a mark.
3.) When Hulk Hogan started the nWo you traded in your vitimins for a black marker to color all of your Hulk Hogan merchandise Black representing the nWo.
4.) While watching Nitro and Glacier is on next you grab some hot chocolate put on a winter jacket and prepare for the snow to fall in the arena. The extra jacket is sometimes not needed because you are so excited to see Glacier.
5.) You make signs to hold up in front of your TV screen while watching raw is war.
6.) You wonder if somehow Kane is gonna beat the Hardy Boyz
7.) Your glad there were 15 minutes left before Survivor Series 97 should have been over because you got to take off your bret hart shirt home made costume bret hart glasses, go up to your room take down your 20 bret hart poster put away your bret hart figures and still have the time to ask yourself, I thought Bret was a good wrestler but he summited to the sharp shooter
8.) When you walk into a room you get your tape player out and play your favorite wrestlers theme song and give proper introductions to yourself before walking into the room.
9.) You bought a second house just so you could enter another time to win the Steve Austin truck.
10.) Your Christmas list contained everything in the WWF catolog.
11.) Everytime Sting flies down from the top of an arena and goes though the mat you hope hes ok.
12.) Every week on Raw is War you get real mad during a match do to the power going out. Later you find out this is Kane.
13.)When provoked, you give your tormentor the Stone Cold "rolling FU fingers".
14.)When you see your mom or girlfriend, you feel the urge to yell "HO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" a la Jim Duggan.
15.)You finish sentences by saying, "and that's the bottom line!"
16.)Whenever you see a fight, you scream "ECW! ECW! ECW!"
17.)You legitmately feel sorry for the Undertaker because you believe that he is really fighting his brother, his parents really died and he was betrayed by his lifelong friend, Paul Bearer.
18.)You have no idea why Pat Patterson sucks, after all, he was the first Intercontinental Champion! (insert Al Snow joke here).
19.)You actually expect Bischoff and Macmahon to wrestle.
20.)You wonder whatever happened to Dr. Isaac Yankem DDS, the Blue Blazer, Oz, Diamond Studd, Mean Mark, Avatar, Leif Cassidy, and Papa Shango.
21.)You think that there have been multiple Ultimate Warriors.
22.)You think that Hulk Hogan is the World Champion because he is the best wrestler alive today.
23.)You see a "good guy" and a "bad guy" hanging out together and you ask them why.
24.)You cried during Shawn Michaels speech where he said that he lost his smile.
25.)You voted for Bob Backlund during the Presidential elections.
26.)While practicing DX's crotch chop, you injure yourself.
27.)You get angry when the Nitro main event doesn't end cleanly.
28.) When Hall "takes a survey" you say the words NWO at home with him, then cheer.
29.) You love all three of the Foley Triplets, Dude Love, Mankind, and Cactus Jack
30.) You wait to hear how the crowd reacts to a wrestler before you react (cheer/boo)
31.) You stopped watching wrestler for a couple years, then go to a WWF Show and hold a Hulkamania sign up and wonder where he is.
32.) You drink beer with the Sandman at home.
33.) You look on a map for Dudleyville
34.) You think you can actually smell what 'The Rock' is cooking...and you like it.
35.) You wonder how many years of bad luck Steve Austin has due to the start of his theme music.
36.) Every time DX comes out, you say "Suck what???!!!"
37.) Every time someone brings up the subject of Macho Man and Elizabeth you respond "Dammit, I don't hear you!! They are still married!!"
38.) You think Alex Wright or Disco Inferno can actually dance.
39.) You think the reforming of the Four Horsemen wihtout Flair is a good idea.
40.) You're still waiting for Koko B. Ware, The Brooklyn Brawler, and Hillbilly Jim to all get their respective shots at the WWF Title.
41.) You actually respond to K-Dawg's "Arriba la raza" as if its the start of a conversation.
42.) When Triple H asks "Are you ready?!?!", you say "No" and ask for more time.
43.) If you think WCW is better than WWF.
44.) You're amazed at how many people chant "GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG!" in perfect unison and how loud it gets and how it sounds the same each and every time.
45.) You can actually list all 1,000 of Dean Malenko's holds.
46.) You answer the phone with "Hey yo"
TOP 100 WRESTLING QUOTES 100)Bobby Heenan commenting on Hogan's entrance music:
Heenan: That's my second favorite song.
Monsoon: I'm almost afraid to ask. Whats your favorite?
Heenan: All the rest are tied.
99)Paul E. commenting on Firebreaker Chip of the Patriots:
"Who's that, the windbreaker?"
98) Randy Savage:
"ohhh yeah, dig it!"
97)Gorilla Monsoon:
"He's going to audition for the Vienna Boys' Choir!"
96) Brian Pillman:
"Do onto others.....and enjoy it!"
95) Ricky Rice commenting on his 1989 heel change:
"It's just like Eddie Sharkey told me along time ago... GET THE MONEY!"
94) "Dirty" Dick Murdoch on teaming with Bill Watts & Jim Duggan:
"Who dat dere's gunna beat dat team? Who Dat? Who dat?
93) Bobby Heenan on some Jobber:
"I once asked him what came at the end of the sentance... and he said "parole"."
92) Bobby Heenan on Oliver Humperdink:
"He looks like something that fell out of a deck of cards!"
91) King Kong Bundy:
"NO NO NO!! FIVE! FIVE!"
90) Jesse Ventura:
"Dusty Rhodes wouldn't win a body building contest for best abs, McMahon, he'd win for MOST abs."
89) Paul E. commenting on War Games:
"This is more dangerous than double dating with Danny Bonaduce on the Kennedy compound."
88) Gorilla & Bobby on the Rosatti sisters:
Brain: "I looked it up. You know what Rosatti means in Italian?"
Gorilla: "Sure. It means red, rich, full..."
Brian: Nope...it means lard.
87) Gorilla Monsoon:
"The Bushwhackers are living proof that the Three Stooges had children"
86) Bobby H. on the Ultimate Warrior:
"This guy makes coffee nervous."
85) Jerry Lawler:
"Sunny sure has a nice big set of....eyes"
84) Jim Cornette:
"I can beat anyone, either male, female, animal, vegitable, or mineral."
83) Don Muraco after Backlund announced he wouldn't wrestle the Iron Sheik due to injuries:
"Jimmy Snuka stood up, 25 feet in the air, drove his knee through my ribs, but did I allow them to carry me out on a strecher? NO! I got right up and walked out!"
82) Iron Sheik:
"Gene Mean, look at our body. Cameraman, zoom!"
81) Scotty "The Body" Anthony:
"I wanted to have a Vanna White look alike contest here, the only problem was, most of the girls who showed up look like Betty White."
80) Gorilla Monsoon commenting on Nick Volkoff's singing:
"If you hung him for being a good singer, you'd be hanging an innocent man!"
79) Stan Lane introducing Jim Cornette:
"Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought Pee Wee Herman everything he knows, Jim Cornette!"
78) Jim Cornette introducing Stan Lane:
"Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought William Kennedy Smith everything he knows about dating, Sweet Stan Lane!"
77) Roddy Piper on the WWF:
"They said they don't have any 1 hip wrestler's. Well they don't have ANY hip wrestler's"
76) Razor Ramon:
"Take a look at the bad guy"
75) Cactus Jack:
"I'm going to give Abdullah (The Butcher) a BIG Cactus Jack hug right now!"
74) Scotty "The Body" Anthony:
"Hollywood John Tatum? He does at least 6,000 sit ups and 10,000 pushups a day!
73) Mankind:
"Have a nice day!"
72) GWF Announcer Craig Anderson:
"The Patriot wears that mask EVERYWHERE! Even in the shower!"
71) Roddy Piper:
"I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old ladie behind me!"
70) Goldust:
"And you'll never forget the name of......Goldust"
69) Scotty "The Body" Anthony:
"I'm just like a giant candy cane, the ladies want to lick me all over."
68) Hulk Hogan:
"Whatcha gunna do when Hulkamanina and my 24" pythons run wild on you?!?!?!!?
67) Joey Styles:
"Oh My God!!"
66) Bobby Heenan on Frankie (Koko's bird):
"If he was in my house, he'd be in a shake 'n' bake bag."
65) Larry Zybysko:
"Take a one way trip down to Larry Land!"
64) Cactus Jack:
"This is for all the little Stingers"
63) Sgt. Slaughter after burning Hogan's face:
"I love the scent of burnt flesh in the morning."
62) Jesse V after watchin the Genius smacking a jobber with his poetry plate:
"I guess you could call that poetry in motion."
61) Randy Savage on the Beverly Brothers finisher:
"What can I say about this move? Nothing so I won't."
60) Randy Savage:
"Macho madness lives forver!"
59) Randy Savage on Elizabeth being at WMVII:
"Yeah what were you doing at Wrestlemania? Ohhhh yeeeeah I'd like to know. You weren't there to gloat were you? No I guess you weren't."
58) Paul E. Dangerously:
"Missy is really a man. She's a cross dresser. She hangs out with Sammartino. They shave each other's back."
57) Bobby Heenan on Lou Ferigno's speach impediment:
"Hey, he speaks pretty well for a guy who just ate 2 lbs of crackers."
56) Stevie Richards trying to get rid of Mike Tenay:
"Hey why don't you ask one of those Mexican's what their favorite movie is"
55) Lance Russel after a Fabulous Ones vs Moondogs match, with over 1/2 dozen foreign objects in the ring:
"You cannot believe the mayhem!"
54) Bobby Heenan on jobber Rikki Atakki:
"Once you wrestke Rikki Atakki, an hour later you want to wrestle him again."
53) Bobby Heenan & Gorilla on Tito Santana:
Bobby H: Did you know Tito holds a place in Guiness' Book of World Records?
Gorilla: Yeah? For what?
Bobby H: He picked 1,600 heads of lettuce in 1/2 an hour.
Gorilla: Will you stop...
52) Bobby Heenan:
"You know why there were onlu 220 Mexicans at the Alamo? They only had one car."
51) Bobby Heenan:
"Do you know Koko B. Ware's mom's first name? Tupper."
50) Roddy Piper on Ole Anderson:
"He's as strong as an ox...and ALMOST as smart!"
49) Scotty Anthony to a balding GWF announcer:
"I see you got a crew cut...and the crew never came back!"
48) Bobby Heenan:
"The Barbarian's shoes are Hair Jordans"
47) Jim Cornette:
"He's so big he makes a beeping noise when he walks backwords."
46) Mr Perfect:
"Remember this....Nobody beats Mr Perfect....Nobody!"
45) Jim Garvin:
"I'll hit you so hard you'll starve to death rolling."
44) Jim Cornette:
"Eventually, even a blind squrill will find an acron."
43) Cactus Jack:
"I can't jump high, so I jump from high places."
42) Road Warrior Hawk:
"Broken necks, splattered patellas, severed arteries.....These are the things from which dreams are made of."
41) Jack Tunney on who "Giant Machine" might be:
"It could be....Giant Babba!"
40) Bob Backlund:
"I would wrestle Hulk Hogan when I'm 50 years old."
39) Gorilla Monsoon:
"You can see the life LITERALLY oozing from his body!"
38) Jim Cornette on Konnan:
"Konnan couldn't draw money if you dipped him in Elmer's glue and dragged him through Fort Knox"
37) Roddy Piper:
"Ever notice Hulk Hogan ain't got no hair on his chest? The only one who's got hair on their chest on their team is Cindy Lauper."
36) Cactus Jack:
"I told Sting that lump in his throat wasn't emotion. it was his liver!"
35) Bobby Heenan on a freeze frame of Typhoon:
"Just look at the way he hangs in mid air!"
34) Road Warrior Hawk:
"Ohhhh What a Rush!"
33) Roddy Piper:
"Real men wear kilts."
34) Bobby Heenan:
"Tito Santana is like a cue-ball. The more you strike him, the more english you get out of him."
33) Jesse Ventura:
"The pleasure was all yours."
32) Cactus Jack:
"I would rather hurt a man than love a woman."
31) Joey Styles:
"In WCW they throw coffee. In ECW we throw the whole coffee machine"
30) Roddy Piper:
"Ric Flair, the Slim Whitman of Pro-Wrestling."
29) Captain Lou Albano:
"Often immitated, but never duplicated!"
28) Raven:
"Quothe the Raven, nevermore"
27) Greg Valentine after being fined for attacking Ric Flair:
"$5,000 means nothing to me! I did about $5,000 worth of damage to that nose of his!!"
26) Roddy Piper:
"Jerry Lawler walks in here with his crown - DA DA DUM - Imperial Margerine - and talks about what he's going to do to me. Lawler, if you think you're going to beat me, if you think you can do ANYTHING to me, than you really are the king. King of FOOLS, jack!!"
25) Steve Austin:
"And that's the bottom line, cuz Stone Cold say's so!"
24) Roddy Piper:
"Tommy Rich, the John-Boy of pro-wrestling."
23) Bobby Heenan on Brutus Beefcake:
"When's the last time you went into a barber shop and saw everyone there unconsious?"
22) Roddy Piper on Warlord & his facemask:
"He mighta spent a couple years under the arena training young wrestlers..."
21) Roddy Piper on Jim Duggan:
"Does the tounge hanging out help his balance?"
20) Hunter H. Helmsley on Sgt. Slaughter's wife:
"I'll have to save one peice of artillary though. I'll need to swing by your old ladies house and show her the BIG Bazooka!! "
19) "Ravishing" Rick Rude:
"I look real good and feel even better, I make a burlap sack look like a cashmere sweater."
18) Roddy Piper:
"Ric Flair is out there crying, his nose is running. He's probably drowning from the size of his nose running."
17) Bobby Heenan on Kerry Von Erich:
"He's the only man I know of who can hide his own easter eggs."
16) Steve Austin:
"You treat me like a dog, and expect me to smile, you remind me of a Jackass!"
15) Roddy Piper to a reporter who questioned Curt Hennig's sexuality:
"Aww, whats the problem, Gertrude? You mean to tell me that you can't walk into a bar with a $100 bill on your forehead and walk with anything, either male or female?"
14) Billy Whatson:
"I'm the only man you wouldn't want to wrestle...if I was in shape."
13) The Road Warriors in their AWA days:
"When we're done with you' it'll look like we set fire to your face and put it out with an axe!"
12) Gorilla Monsoon:
"He has a lower occipital proturbance!"
11) Cactus Jack:
"If the Gods could build me a ladder to the heavens, I'd climb up the ladder and drop a big elbow on the world."
10) Bret Hart:
"I am the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be"
9) Scotty Anthony to a balding GWF anouncer:
"I see you have wavey hair....its waveing goodbye!"
8) Capt. Lou Albano on Buzz Sawyer:
"He has a calsium deposit on the medulla oblongota of his brain, but he is a brilliant man. This man has a BA, an MA from harvard, and a PhD from Oxford. He's a brilliant man I tell you, Mean Gene."
7)Jim Cornette on Dusty Rhode's birthmark:
"Thats where he had the word "Goodyear" dermabrased off."
6)Ric Flair:
"To be that man, you've got to beat the man. Woooo!"
5)Jesse Ventura:
"Win if you can, lose is you must, but ALWAYS cheat!"
4)Roddy Piper:
"Ric Flair, you once called me a woman. Well, what I want to know is, how does it feel to get beat by a woman?"
3)Steve Austin:
"Austin 3:16 just says I just whipped your ass!"
2)Ric Flair:
"Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the Best thing going around. Wooooo!"
1)Roddy Piper:
"Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions." |
